I’m Pregnant… Why Am I Still Wearing Pants?

Kat's pregnant belly and skinny maternity jeans

After a few hours of sitting at my desk and working away, it strikes me that I’m still wearing jeans. What an amateur move. It should be automatic that when I come back inside from running errands or going to appointments that I immediately kick off my shoes and wrestle my way out of real pants.

Pants during pregnancy. What a joke.

It sounds childish, but if I’ve learned anything about my entitlement as a pregnant woman, one of my most fundamental rights is that I deserve to be comfortable. If I’m home alone all day, save for the dog and the cats, I don’t need to look human for anyone—and that’s perfectly alright. Hello, muumuu.

Yes, I bought proper maternity pants, but they still don’t offer the freedom of pajamas (or no pants at all). Pants, no matter whether they fit correctly, are still restricting and such a battle in my quest for comfort.

To the pregnant women who upgrade their wardrobe with professional maternity wear: I applaud you. Stand up and take a bow.

My out-of-the-house uniform primarily consists of jeans, a t-shirt, a preggo-friendly sweater, Blundstones, and a touque (because let’s be real, if I don’t want to wear pants I REALLY don’t want to put effort into my hair). Praise autumn and winter for being seasons of layers and wool caps.

Getting Dressed While Pregnant Is Difficult

I’m hyperaware of how uncomfortable I am when I’m out in public, and I’m still sticking to the casual style vibe I usually adhere to even when I’m not growing a human. Pregnancy changes you in so many ways. My body has become a bit of a foreign land and I’m still getting acclimated to my new self so I try to hang on to pieces of my pre-pregnancy identity.

The first time Dan saw me in maternity leggings, he laughed. He couldn’t believe that the waist went up and over my baby bump. 

Dan’s fascinated by pregnant lady clothing. He doesn’t see the point. He suggested I buy regular clothes that were a few sizes bigger than usual; it blew his mind that body proportions didn’t support this as a flattering idea. I didn’t require a larger size for my whole body, I simply needed clothes that would accommodate a growing belly bump and widening pelvis. 

Shopping for bigger sizes instead of maternity wear would have meant I was swimming in clothes that were too big in some parts and not supportive enough in others. No Bueno, especially when the objective of finding proper maternity clothing is to feel more like myself.

Getting Undressed While Pregnant Is Just As Hard

It’s not enough to get yourself into proper pants when you’re nine months pregnant, but getting out of maternity pants is a whole other struggle—especially if you have a penchant for skinny jeans like I do.

By the time I’ve done my running around in the outside world, I need to get out of my disguise. I’ve spent my time out of the house cleverly convincing people that I’m a pregnant lady that’s got her life together based on the mere fact that I got dressed this morning. The bad news about getting home: taking off actual pants proves to be a herculean task. 

To remove my pants I have to wiggle my hips to get the top of the jeans around my thighs and then it all goes to hell. Not to spoil the surprise, but bending is hard when you’re pregnant. By the time the crotch of my pants gets to my knees, the fabric is turned inside out. Curse you, skinny jeans.

I have to lift up my right leg to step on the crotch of the jeans in order to tug my left leg out. Once ol’ lefty is free, I repeat the same action of stepping on the fabric with my left foot to remove my other leg. I also have a nagging hip from the weight of this kid inside me, so standing on my left leg sends some wonderful sensations into my aching pelvis. Another win for the pregnant body (she typed sarcastically…).

Oh! There’s more!

My jeans are generally tucked into my socks and I usually forget (or refuse to bend over) to take my socks off before I attempt to remove my pants. This misstep makes the struggle for freedom even more fun. My neighbours must be familiar with the sounds of my frustrated tears by now.

Why I Don’t Believe In Wearing Pants During Pregnancy

So pants? You’re overrated in pregnancy. I’m sorry, but you’re just awful. Would that I could spend all day every day in pajamas, a robe, or even in my birthday suit; it would make for a much more comfortable pregnancy. 

The moral of the story: If you see a pregnant woman out and about who is dressed inappropriately, have some kindness. That bizarrely dressed woman is likely me and I’ve given up the charade of having it all together, so please don’t mock my fashion. Pregnancy is hard.

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